MENTORS, MASTER CLASSES, WRITING COURSES.....PODCASTS....THE NEW SHAM...KEEP AWAY.
study of the authors who are not talking.
It appears we have become a society of teachers. Everyone is teaching something particularly in a profession where the sacred art of expression is now canned , bottled and AI generated. I am referring to my own galaxy that of authors, novelists, poets, essayists, historians and non fiction brow wrinkling serious authors. Traditionally, our audience was invisible. Our techniques mysterious and never seen as a formula which could be aired . We sat at tables and autographed hunched over shyly and only making eye contact as we inquired if the autograph was to be personalized with a name. Our fountain pens leaked secretly in our handbags. We loathed ballpoint pens! Now the paper of softcovers is so vile a fountain pen would seep through to the next two pages. So a trip to Dollarama and buying plastic packages of roller balls is the way to go. Downside, the literally indistructable chinese plastic wrapping needs a scissor, your best kitchen knife and even a sturdy iron nail to release a pen and be ready for your book signing.
At public readings or televised interviews we fidgeted looked embarrassed and the praise became almost unbearable. Would anyone have ever dared to pose these questions to the literary greats. Just imagine if Joyce was asked do you make a a book outline? Or Henry Miller if he was influenced by master pornographers and perhaps leaned on the fiendish Marquis De Sade? Was his mouth ever washed with soap and water for using dirty words?
A gazillion self publishing sites have sprouted on the internet. Never mind that these books will seldom get reviewed in mainstream print press or even be sold at familiar bookstores or their proud publishers can enter them for national awards the game has changed. Or that this practise was given a deadly name: vanity publishing. You don’t have to sit in your garret and struggle on your novel of the century .alone Average earnings of a Canadian author are about $10,000 annually. The garret part is real hence the demonic zeal with which every writing grant is applied for. Do not forget the color coding section as your life (oops) your grant will rely on it. I am an Indo Arya Sout Asian Kashmir Canadian with an honorary Texan status. Spreading this sort of confusion within the Canada Council has made them refuse my grants. of late. Brutal knuckle rapping here and of course i shed a few tear over rejection letters.
Tip-toeing in are the teachers armed with podcasts formulas of creative writing and the copy cats. Some famous authors give a master class which is always comic. The famed Salman Rushdie basically said there are no tips or formulas. Just write the hell out and finish the book. Of course you have to have a story which grabs your reader. That is all. Make sure you have a story. Margaret Atwood uses her own sense of humour and suggests a waste paper basket is a writers best friend. She totally enlivens Red Riding Hood story .and throws in her best statement ‘ a word after a word is power”.
How to become an teacher has a one two three formula always throwing in a heavy dose of self aggrandisement. I quake in terror at every new book I write but I finish it because I always write for myself . Asked this question at a Authors festival recently I could see the ripple of displeasure on the face of the moderator . I had not played his game. I don’t represent a group based on ethnicity or politics of fashion. I write because in the flash of a nano second a story perched on my shoulder and refused to budge until the end. I am simply a storyteller . It is like scooping up a rare butterfly in a net. Wow! Igot it. There is no reason to discuss this ever simply that the work looms ahead. and the accompantying tension will the publisher my agent submits this manuscript to offer a contract to publish. Zip ! thats it!. So no, I cannot teach about this. I do not care to as it would be hubris of an embarresing kind.
Earning or supplementing a living income is the writer’s plight hence the rise of teaching and selling offered on this cheery sites. Even the giant Amazon is in for the
ride. so its an employment scenario and why would’nt poseurs and the beating heart hopefuls with egos the size of a dinosaur dash their etransfers off. They are certain they will transform into Hemmingways or Le Carres without that one singular requirement -natural born talent. There i have said it. I belong to the school of conviction which states writers are born and never made! Here come the brickbats but this is a firm belief.
Some clown with two books under his belt has become a master teacher of sorts? COME TO ME…………………….even getting my selfish lot of readers who refuse to pay the modest 80$ annual subscription fails . I am a beggar for punishment as i consider inserting a paywall bad manners. I have nine books under my belt published by the big guys and some e fiesty smaller independent literary presses so i could throw my hat in this crass commercial ring. All this one well knows can be offset simply by reading classic Literature and the new bold experimental stuff. Rants are welcome and life issues of a banal order is a growing trend. Everyone is a home grown therapist.
Recently, the ex wife of a important political figure pens this over 600 page monster published by a big publisher. Her mantra is that she will teach us how to love. God forbid that an instinctual exercise celebrated by fabulous authors in their novels and add an unimaginable luster to human experience ever could ever be replaced by a stupid handbook of sorts .
Therefore, in conclusion just learn to read more and more and self educate yourself using the literary masters as inspiration . All you need is a library card and mercifully in most countries they are free. writing cannot be taught you either have it or you dont.