Boring Old People
are we going to get rid of them???
I came across a phrase recently which haunts me. It is ‘Shut Ins”!!!! A new category of social demarcation. This means elderly, mobility challenged people who cannot leave their homes.
Now i know a few people who of their own volition shut themselves in their homes for days. Mostly they are fellow authors hunched over books they have to finish. Then there was one pal who did not leave his home for seven days roaming from bed to frig and back again. He was depressed and flirting with the idea of death. i just said ‘come for dinner” and he landed up showered , shaved and wearing an impossibly attractive mexican embroidered shirt.
“ You have saved me i thought i would never get out again.”he said scarfing up chicken curry with basmati rice.
“That’s a bore. No one to exchange gossip with?” i responded briskly .
The visit lasted over three hours. All manner of trivia exchanged. Then heading to the balcony where he smoked half my three emergency hidden cigarettes and downed three Tylenols. With a flushed but healthy face he looked the picture of health and not the portrait of the dying man at 58!
“You have saved me “ he was emotional when he left.
I made a mental note never to divulge the hiding place of the three emergency cigarettes again. When you are no longer smoking these are designed to make you feel secure that’s all .
Back to the shut ins. I see some stout members of their clan hobbling with walkers and some with ridiculous contraptions called canes. These are the ones who
are not saying Uncle any time soon. Plus their racy cousins who zip around in motorized wheelchairs . If I had one I would install a martini bar on the front and doubt if i would be picked up by the cops .
So it is the elderly, solitary members of this clan who languish at home as they have almost zero mobility. who interest me. As many of us will land into this state.
BOOM.
The shut in condition means no loafing under blue skies, hearing bird song, or the snarl of traffic and the flirtation of a pretty girls hemline in summer. Is anyone recording this ? Are these people being interviewed and do they want to live like this?
There was a grisly folklore .either from Japan or a scandanavian film where the elderly are left on top of a mountain simply to perish. the film posed an evil scenario of the people told to jump which they did not surviving the fall. Unjustly , I thought perhaps the work of the Swedish maestro Ingmar Bergstrom whose films always depressed the hell of of me. So we escaped the cinema hall to drink , smoke and make love all night. I was wrong it was not his film. Yet the memory lingers along with the Swiss clinic where for $25,000.00 you can have a an utterly civilized type of euthanasia conducted on you. This medically assisted death does not have to go through the legislative complexities of governments. First shot puts you to sleep and the second shot just stops your heart.
BOOM…….
a point to ponder i would say. if you really want to leave the party. Back to the shut ins which bothers the hell out of me. We have extended life amongst the aging but not quality of life. Free meds and procedures and Personal support workers non-withstanding. Isolation is top on the list of psychological ailments, however in Zen Bhuddist or Sufi persuasions this state of solitude is not an ailment. To conquor ‘alone’ puts you in the master’s game. I disagree as any comtact with another person will make you exercise your vocal cords, stimul;ate hearing and cognitive skills. So the standard Canadian elevator greeting of “What’s it like outside” will lead to dialogue particularly when one has to choose between answering the question, ignoring it or even deliver a mini lecture of how inept this is as a conversation starter.
Is there a warranty which expires on the human race like a battery?. Old people do not get preferential treatment and often get ignored in North American culture. I have seen this at a line up . Elderly lady at cash checkout pulling a worn wallet and pulling out some bills which are not enough and placing them on the counter under the gaze of a cold faced young woman. She should have offered to help in actually looking in other compartments of the wallet , perhaps the first flush of alzhiemers was at play here. But the rummaging continued and now things fell out of the handbag and i stopped to collect them and stood next to the lady.
“I know the money is here may I look for you” I whisper to her.
She looks at me fearfully. The cashier girl still motionless casting her freezing look.
All of a sudden, I want to burst into tears. This could be me or you in a few years. Maybe the shut in state where deliveries are made is better than this ordeal. She has a great grandmother look about her and where are people who belong to her who should be at her side.?
Welcome to old ages solo. There are retirement homes but their tales are quite horrific. They are getting basic or jacked up care depending on the income. Their feckless offspring have marched them here. There are duty visits and both sides are not getting what they deserve.
With better diets, exercises and new drugs what is old now? Is it the 70’s 80’s or the astonishing 90’s ?The gloss is off the bloom of life and yet governments struggle to deal with this. There is no solution that I can see except a timely end. One should leave the party at the top. A wise man once told me death after 75 is fine. The best of life has been had and there is no need to mourn.
“Life is a balance between holding on and Letting go” Jalalluddin Rumi Persiabn poet.
